ABDL: Adult Baby, Diaper Lover.  Acronym for Littles.

Abuse: Nonconsensual power exchange.  BDSM is not abuse.  If you are being abused, seek help.

Babyfur: Furry who is a little.

BDSM: Bondage, Dominance, and Sadomasochism.  Umbrella term for any kink which falls under those categories.

Big: Type of little who takes care of adults who pretend to be underage.

Bondage: Binding or trapping someone.  Examples include simple things like handcuffs and more complex things like shibari.

Bottom: Person who is penetrated and/or submissive during sex.  In a heteronormal context, this is typically the girl.  A girl can top a man by putting on a strap-on and pegging her man.

Blood play: Activity which causes bleeding.  Note: if you are in a public dungeon, do not perform impact play over blood play.  This is considered to be nonconsensual fluid sharing, because the blood is aerosolized and may be breathed by others around you.

Cheating: Having sex with someone your partner hasn’t agreed to you having sex with.  Also includes sharing fluids with someone if your partner said no.

Cisgender: Someone who identifies as the same gender they were born with.

Closed Relationship: Two or more people who have sex only with members of their formal relationship.

Consent: Required.  If consent is not present in a sexual activity, it is assault or rape.  Never ignore the word “no” unless you and your partner have previously agreed to replace “no” with a safe word.  Consent must also be obtained before sharing nudity or fluids.

Crinkle: Person who likes wearing diapers.

D/s: Dominant/submissive.

DD/lg: Daddy Dom/little girl.

Daddy Dom: ABDL practitioner who takes care of a little girl.

Dominant: BDSM practitioner who dominates a submissive.  Often shortened to “Dom.”

Fetish: Usually refers to sexual fetishism, which is the sexualization of something that usually isn’t sexual.

Furry: Person who identifies with an anthropomorphic character they have created.

Fursuit(er): Custom-made costume for a furry, or a furry who is wearing one.

Heteronormal: One man, one woman having vanilla sex.

Impact play: Someone is hit with something.  Note: if you are in a public dungeon, do not perform impact play over blood play.  This is considered to be nonconsensual fluid sharing, because the blood is aerosolized and may be breathed by others around you.

Kinky: Unusual sexual practice.

Little: Adult who pretends to be underage.

Little girl: ABDL practitioner who is taken care of by a daddy dom.

Middle: Type of little who pretends to be around 9-15 years old

Monogamous: Two people in a sexually exclusively relationship.  Also refers to a person who prefers this relationship style.

Open Relationship: Members can have sex with people outside the formal relationship.  Terms are negotiated between/among the people in the relationship.

Partially Closed: They’re open, but they keep something exclusive.  Maybe they reserve a specific sexual act, or they are exclusive during particular times.

Partially Open: They’re mostly closed, but occasionally they share stuff with people outside the relationship.

Pegging: Woman penetrating someone.  She usually wears a strap-on for this.

Polyamorous: More than two people are sexually involved.  This typically refers to a long-term relationship style.  Also refers to a person who prefers this type of relationship.

Power exchange: One person gives power to another.  This is voluntary and can be taken back any time the giver chooses.

RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink.  This term is broader than safe, sane consensual.  Not all kinky activities can be performed with absolute safety.  Suspension shibari is an example of an activity which can easily cause injury.  This term refers to the idea that participants fully understand the risks of their chosen activity.

Rape/sexual assault: Sexual activity where at least one person doesn’t (or can’t) consent.  Ignoring a safe word counts.

Red, Green, Yellow: Common paradigm of safe words, especially in dungeons run as businesses.  Red means stop, yellow means maybe, green means go.

Role play: Person pretends to be something they aren’t.

Sadomasochism: Fetish involving the giving and receiving of pain.

Safe word: A word that, if the submissive partner says it, will end all play.  It is the same as “no” in a vanilla context.

Safe, sane, consensual: Always be all three.  Often abbreviated to SSC, this term is mostly used to easily communicate BDSM values to outsiders.  BDSM practitioners prefer RACK, which acknowledges not all practices are inherently safe.

Shibari: Japanese rope bondage.

Squick: Kink you think is gross.

Strap-on: Wearable dildo.

Submissive: BDSM practitioner who likes to be dominated.  Often shortened to “sub.”

Top: Person who penetrates and/or dominates during sex.  In a heteronormal context, this is typically the man.  A man can bottom a woman by letting her penetrate him with something.

Transgender: Someone who identifies as a gender other than what they were born with.

Vanilla: Not kinky.



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